Case of the Mondays?

Monday morning. The alarm goes off signaling the end of the weekend and the beginning of the work week, I groan as I roll over to shut off the blaringly loud alarm and as I enter full consciousness it hits me- 20 beautiful, innocent children would never have a moment like this- a simple moment that I, and the rest of the world, take for granted (and if we are quite honest; dread) The moment of opening your eyes on a Monday morning and getting up to start your work week.

These children were at the most wonderful point in life. They still had their innocence. They weren't jaded by angry clients, demanding bosses, stressful deadlines. They woke up each day buzzing with excitement- ready to share their favorite toy at show and tell, learn their ABC’s, or pick the story the teacher read in story time. Their biggest worry was whether they would be the one chosen to flip the numbers that Ms. Soto Said were counting down the days until winter break - or most importantly when Santa would be coming!

We have seen this violence before: Columbine, Virginia Tech, Colorado, the list continues to grow. What makes this different, what makes this so incredibly tragic, is the age of the victims. These 6 and 7 year old kids weren't old enough to understand, to defend themselves, to know to run or take cover. Children are vulnerable; it is our job as adults to protect them. The idea that something like this could happen, DID happen- is a painful, jagged pill to swallow. We failed. We didn't protect the most precious members of our society.

Why, why, why?? This is the question everyone wants an answer to; unfortunately, sometimes there is no answer. I encourage you to instead ask the question, “now what?” For me, my “now what” is simple, and easier said than done. I am going to relish the beauty in everyday. I am going to stop complaining and make the most of every moment. I’m going to exhibit more patience, curb my anger a bit longer. I’m going to make a goal to encourage at least one person per day and smile more. We as a society need to get back to basics. We get caught up in the everyday and forget what it is to take simple pleasure in the things that really matter.

20 children and 6 adults went to school on Friday and will never come home. There is no answer that will ever satisfy the question of why, or ease the enormous grief that will no doubt be with their family and friends until the day they take their last breath.  What we ARE able to control is our “now what?”Ask yourself this question, consider your answers, and start changing your reality to honor these kids who will never have the opportunity to discover what their own "now what?" would have entailed. If every person put into practice at least 1 of the answers that came to mind - we would no doubt be in a happier, more peaceful place. 

Why I won't meet a man at dog beach.

This weekend was going to be a great weekend. One of my best friends was coming to visit and we had every second of the weekend planned out.

Saturday morning we woke up and decided to go get coffee and take the dogs to dog beach. I was excited to go as my dogs have never been to the ocean and I couldn't wait to see their reactions. We got there and Max ran right to the water. He was running, playing and having a great time. Mia was a bit more cautious and stayed close by my side. Here are some pics of the happy moments before "IT' happened:

About 15 minutes into our beach outing a large furry dog ran up to Krystle and I. I didn't think much of it until I felt it..the small itch inside my nose. Not just any itch, the itch that signals the impending doom I am about to endure. The itch was followed by an innocent sneeze. At this point I was holding on to hope it was just a slight irritation and the sneeze would resolve whatever was irritating my sinuses. No such luck. The first sneeze was the beginning of the end. I began sneezing, and sneezing, and SNEEZING. The sneezing was soon accompanied by nasal drainage shooting from my nose as well as tears streaming from my itchy, watery eyes. Now, I know in movies dog beach is a common scene to "accidentally" run into your soulmate. As I stood there sneezing, dribbling mucous and tears all over the sand, I thought, "oh yeah, THIS is attractive". Thankfully, I had benedryl in my purse leftover from the last allergy attack I had. I popped two immediately and was able to prevent the itchy hives that normally appear if I don't take a heavy dose of antihistamine within the first 2 minutes of the attack. Krystle and I headed back to my car as quickly as we could. It was quite a scene I'm sure. I had no Kleenex on me so I was forced to use the sleeves of my jacket to wipe the constant drainage coming from my face. All I kept thinking was "please, oh please don't let my face/eye swell up." The last attack I had was followed by my eye swelling so much it was almost completely closed for a week.

This allergy attack happened Saturday morning. My work Christmas party was Saturday night.

We got to the car and Krystle was kind enough to run into the drug store and get me Zyrtec D.  3 benedryl, 1 zyrtec d, and $20 later I took a shower and laid on the couch with an ice pack on my eye- in my head I kept repeating the mantra "please don't swell, please don't swell"

The benedryl knocked me out and I awoke about an hour later. I looked in the mirror and my worst nightmare was confirmed.

My face was swollen. My eye was so puffy I could barely open it, and I had a work Christmas party where I was to meet the new CEO of my company in 6 hours. Krystle and I decided it would be best to get some fake eyelashes so that my eye could appear more "open".  Krystle, the good friend that she is kept reassuring me, "ohhh it looks like it's getting better!" the whole time we were out and about. The look of horror I received from the cashier at Starbucks told me the true story though. I looked like Quasimodo.

Luckily, Krystle was able to make me up and apply the eyelashes so that I appeared semi-normal. I think most of the credit goes to the dark venue where the party was hosted (Thank God) as well as the open bar that prevented most from realizing my puffy face wasn't caused by their inebriation.

You can still see that my right eye appears "lazy" despite our best attempts to make it appear normal.

 Dog beach is often romanticized as a great place to meet someone. However, when you are allergic to dogs, it is the last place you want to go looking for love.

Things I have learned:
1) I will never again stop taking allergy meds b/c I 'feel ok' I would rather be full of antihistamine then have this ever happen again.
2) Friends lie. Check your appearance in a mirror when someone exclaims "you look good!" when you can barely open your eye.
3) Dog beach is not a place where I will be finding dates
4) Never, NEVER leave home without benedryl, kleenex, and Zyrtec D.. you never know when you may need it.

Driving After Dark

Last night I was feeling adventurous. Up until yesterday I hadn't left the safety of the 2 mile radius around my new apartment, but my work Christmas party is this weekend and the theme is all white. I do not own anything white. Hence, the need to find a mall.

My co-worker is a San Diego native and was kind enough to give me the run down of all shopping malls around us. As she used street names like 805,  villa this, villa that, I became more and more confused. I decided to just use good old GPS. Bad choice. I typed in "JCPenny" in GPS and soon the familiar sing song voice said "MotionX is calculating your route" I don't know if you have used GPS, but if you have you will understand what I mean when I say that "recalculating route" is said about 3 times  before you even leave the parking lot of your departure place. Normally, when you are in a familiar place this isn't too annoying as you have a general idea of where you are going. Well, I do not. At all. When I get to a stop light and my phone is still calculating my route, I have to keep driving. Add the new fun bonus of being legally forbidden to touch your phone while driving and you are completely at the mercy of the annoying, sing-song voiced lady in your phone.

So, after about 6 "recalculating routes" I ended up on a nice tree lined side road. I was pretty happy that the hooker ( this is the affectionate name I have given the talking lady on my GPS) led me away from the terrifying freeways and down a nice relaxing road. As I continued to drive around twisty turns lined with trees I saw that the road ahead was ascending. I didn't think much of it and kept driving. The hooker had been relatively quiet so I knew I was going in the right direction. Soon I was to the top of the twisty turn-y road and realized I had entered my worst nightmare. To my right was a tiny metal fence, directly on the other side was a drop that appeared to be as big as the Grand Canyon down to a huge Dam surrounded by water. I know you think I'm exaggerating so here is a picture:

To my left was oncoming traffic going at least 70MPH. I was on a 2 lane highway next to the dam of death. I'm pretty sure my legs lost all feeling at this point as I slowly wound around the curves  trying to stay as far away from the thin metal gate separating me from a plunge off of the cliff while avoiding driving into oncoming traffic. After what seemed to be a lifetime, I started to descend and came to a traffic light. I pulled into the first available parking lot despite the hookers screaming protests "re-routing, RE-ROUTING" and luckily the parking lot was the mall. The ESCONDIDO mall. This meant nothing to me last night, but after recounting the above story to my co-workers today, the wide eye look of shock on their faces led me to believe I drove very, very far for my white outfit.

What I've learned from this experience:
1) GPS does not replace a map. I will diligently look at a map before listening to the hookers directions
2) The lady in my phone is trying to kill me- maybe it's because of the nickname I gave her.
3) No white after Labor Day is a fantastic rule and had it been adhered to, I wouldn't have gone through this experience.
4) California is really freaking hilly.