27

27 has been a year of lessons and growth for me. I took a big chance and moved to a new state, started a new job, and left my friends and family for the unknown. The risk has paid off tremendously. This year I have learned that I’m stronger than I ever realized- life is hard; it can bring a lot of challenges you aren’t expecting. I have cried, I have been depressed, I’ve been lonely and missed home, but I stood my ground and worked through all of these emotions. Below are a few of the lessons I have learned this year and am happy to be taking with me into my 28^th year:

Friendship- Friendship is a 2 way street. I have had lots of friends fade away since my move from Arizona. People I thought would be in my life forever have slipped away. I have no resentment. I have learned that the people who make an effort and truly love you no matter how far away you move are the ones you want to hold on to. The true friends I have are amazing and have helped me get through this past year with endless encouragement and kind words. Tawni, Angela, Krystle, Lauren, Antonio, Mel T (Now Mel M. )… You guys have been amazing and I will always remember the kindness and loyalty you have shown when I needed it most! Thank you.

Family- Family is the one constant in my life that I am so incredibly grateful for. My mom and dad have been beyond supportive and have visited me numerous times here in San Diego. Ash- our Skype dates have brightened many a Saturday for me. Cards, phone calls, text messages- you guys always lift me up and encourage me when I need it most. I am so blessed.

Dating-  Oh my goodness. This one has been an experience. I have been on more dates this year than all the years of my life combined. I have enough horror stories to fill a book two times over. (One guy answered his phone during our date and told his wife he was still working and there was no need for her to cook dinner- I left immediately) With every date I have learned something new. With every experience I have been taught what I want, how I want to be treated, and that I will NOT settle. Life is hard enough without someone making it harder. I never realized how sane I am and what an amazing catch having a job, car, and residence makes me until I started online dating.

Change- Change used to scare me – I am learning to embrace it. I love where I am right now and I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t accepted the possibility of change.

San Diego- Oh San Diego… I love you. At first I missed home so much I had to keep telling myself “just give it a year, give it a year” now, I can’t imagine ever leaving. November will be my 1-year anniversary here and I am signing another 12-month lease.  There is nothing like watching a sunset on dog beach while my weens run and play in the waves. I love my new simple life and routines.. Coffee Bean and the beach on Saturday mornings, Kettlebells 3 times a week, hanging out with my new friends BBQ’ing and using the hot tub, taking my dogs to the apartment dog park.  Xochi and Brandyn- you guys are truly amazing.  You were my first friends here in California and have welcomed me with open arms. I love you both so much.

27 has been hard, it’s been wonderful, it’s been eventful. I have learned a lot, grown as a person, developed professionally, and made a lot of new friends and A LOT of memories. 28 is going to have a lot to live up to. J

Is this for real??

As you all know I am still very new to California. I have been here for just over 3 months now. One of my biggest struggles has been meeting people. Not just anyone, but people I would actually enjoy having a drink with or meeting on the weekends to go shopping. There is nothing worse than spending precious weekend hours with someone you don't particularly like all that much. Well, time and time again Meetup.com has been recommended to me as a way to meet new people. Finally after even my new hairdresser recommended meetup.com, I thought what the hell? I'll give it a try! This is where it gets fun.

My first inclination was to join a wiener meetup group. I know, I know. Spare me the dog lady jokes. I have limited time at home with my pups so if I can spend time with them AND be social it's a win-win, right? No. I looked at the median age range of the San Diego Doxie meet up group and it's about 50 years old. Add in a few awesome gay men and their husbands and there you have it- my target demo: older ladies and gay men. As excited as I was to be with my people- I decided to branch out and also join the San Diego late 20's early 30's meetup group (it is a whole new blog to begin ranting about how I have ended up in this age range group- where has time gone?!) So, I signed up for the group. I looked through the upcoming events and didn't really see anything that sparked my interest. I'm not exactly a rock climbing/parasailing type person. 

Today I come into work and check my personal email and I see an innocent looking subject line: "Melanie.. we recommend the following meetup groups for you!" I open the email and see it- the group that is recommended for me based on my apparent "interests": 

SAN DIEGO EYE-GAZING PARTIES

What the hell is an eye-gazing party you ask? Good question! I didn't know such a thing existed until a few hours ago. Here is a brief description from the group page: 

Here’s how it works: An even number of singles gets together in an attractive space. After a fun mini-lesson in the art of eye contact, the group splits into pairs, and each pair spends two minutes looking at each other’s eyes, no talking, with inviting beats in the background. 

For your reading enjoyment here is the entire meetup profile:

http://www.meetup.com/San-Diego-Eye-Gazing-Parties/?gj=ej1b&a=wg2.1_rdmr

The first obvious question after reading this is, is this a joke? Reading the description alone made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants- can you imagine what disaster would ensue if I actually WENT? 

The second question is, what are "inviting beats"? What I picture in my head is some creepy guy staring at me while Boys II Men's "I'll make love to you" plays in the background. 

The third and final question is, do people really do this??? Why would I want to pay to go stare at people I don't know for 2 minutes? It sounds like this goes on for an hour and a half. That's a lot of people to stare at in 2 minute intervals. If alcohol is added to the mix I'd be even more prone to outbursts of laughter which WOULD result in the peeing of my pants. The only possibility for enjoyment in this would be initiating a staring contest without telling my partner and as soon as the guy blinks shout: "I WIN- YOU BLINKED!!"

I tried universe. I really did. I was going to put myself out there and attend a meetup for young people. You made a mockery of my effort by introducing me to a Eye-gazing party.

The good news; however, is that I RSVP'd to the Wiener meet-up next weekend. I see a lot of brunches with new friends in my future. :)

2013.. Here we go

2013 has started off on the right foot. I drove back to Cali from AZ on NYE and by the time I got home and unpacked, I didn't have much energy for anything other than watching the festivities on TV and passing out. Sometime later I awoke to screaming and realized it was midnight and a new year had begun.

The next morning as I sat in my apartment in San Diego (all boxes FINALLY unpacked) I felt very nostalgic. All of the cliches ran through my head "you never know where life will lead you!" "Who knows where you'll be a year from now!" "The only sure things in life are death and taxes!" and many, many more. At that moment I finally GOT it. I now understand those cliches. On January 1st, 2012 if you had told me a year from then I'd be living in San Diego (a dream I've had for quite sometime) I would have laughed in your face. I have a house in AZ- mortgage payments and all of the responsibility home ownership brings is not conducive to "relocating for work"; yet- there I sat,  2 blocks from the beach, having only one acquaintance that I knew from my previous job, and completely on my own in San Diego.

Anyone that knows me well understands that change scares the hell out of me. I'm not a big "risk" taker. I like stability, routine, and familiarity. Being born and raised in Arizona makes it home to me. My immediate family lives there, 98% of my friends live there and I have known them all a ridiculously long time, 15+ years in most cases. I was very settled. Even so, I always had the dream of someday living somewhere else.

When I was 22 and a freshly graduated, naive, college student I was looking for jobs in New York. I had applied for a few, started looking for cheap apartments and plotting how I would get there. I had no financial obligations and nothing holding me back. It was right at this time that my mom through a routine colonoscopy was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. This diagnosis brought me back to Earth. I didn't want to be 2000+ miles away from my family. I wanted to be there and spend every second I could with my mom- my best friend and greatest supporter.

Flash forward 4 years to 2011 and my mom is in remission, (Thank you God) I bought a house in Mesa, and I was on a vacation in San Diego with my sister, my brother in law, and our close family friend Angela. I was sitting by the beach with my sister Ashley and I made a bold statement- "I don't care how I do it- I WILL be living here within a year". It was the perfect compromise- somewhere other than Arizona, but close enough to drive home for the weekend or if something came up and I needed to get back quickly- I could. It was on that vacation that I bought a keychain that said "San Diego" this was my visual representation of my goal.

A few months went by and the dream took a backseat to life. Work deadlines, bills, daily demands that so easily put "dreams" in the background. One Sunday I decided to stir up the old San Diego dream after I had seen a friends facebook pictures showing her new apartment on the beach in CA. When I looked at the company where she had been hired, there was an Account Manager position open. I applied and all of the pieces fell perfectly into place to get me here. It almost- as corny as this sounds, feels like it was meant to be.

Life has it's ups and downs. It is frustrating, overwhelming, sad, and happy. One thing I now understand more than anything is that life constantly changes.  Change isn't bad- it's scary and uncertain, but also exciting and new. 2013 represents just that to me- change.

I accomplished my lofty somewhat unrealistic goal, I'm living in San Diego-

 I did it.